As i read today's entry from ODB (http://www.rbc.org/odb/odb.shtml), i cant help but agree. That sometimes, sin seems so much more alluring, so much more appealing. Sometimes, sin seems to provide a way out for us. And i often fall into this pithole.

Isnt that always the case? The enemy likes to paint a beautiful picture for us. To lure us in, and then trap us. But God knows better. And if we were to just trust in Him, He will lead us to the place flowing with milk and honey. (:

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."
-Hebrews 3:13

You are the way the truth and the life
We live by faith and not by sight for you
We're living all for you

Death is such a surreal thing. And truly, the dust will return to the earth as it was, and the spirit will return to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 12:7). He has passed on, i have seen his body and his ashes, but why is it that i dont feel like he has gone? He still seems to be around. Maybe i dont speak to him often. Maybe i dont see him often. What is left of him are the ashes in the urn. It is sad. And i do miss him quite a bit.

Grandpa's death has taught me a few things:
1. Treasure the people around you, especially the ones you love (family and friends). Spend more time with them when you can. Dont stay mad at them for too long. Always end the day with every unhappiness you have with anyone cleared up.
2. Pray and try to bring people, especially the ones you love (family and friends), to God, as best as you can. I really want to reunite with them in heaven. I dont want to see them burning in hell, especially so after a tough journey on earth. The best way to evangelise, i feel, is through our own lives. The way we live is such a powerful witness for God because actions speak louder than words.

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. "
-Matthew 5:13-16

Really. You dont want to regret not sharing about God and not putting in any effort in bringing the ones you love to Christ. Cherish the time you have left. Do what you can and leave the rest to God.

"If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you. "
-John 15:7

"And receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. "
-1 John 3:22

Dear Grandpa,

I know you cant read English, but im hoping that where you are now, a translater is there to read you this message. And if you are where im hoping you are now, are you reading the prayers all of us have prayed for you on the prayer wall (I kind of thought there might be a prayer wall in heaven. Lol..)? Are you hand in hand with Jesus and Grandma, smiling and looking down at us right now?

Mum talks alot about you. She says you have a very strong character. You are wise and you are a strong-willed person who doesnt give up easily. That is why i always have the impression that you are a remarkable man. And im really proud that im your granddaughter. (:

Im tempted to say all the sorries for not spending more time with you, for not holding your hand more often and for not having hugged you before, but grandpa, i think i will rather say thankyou. Mum told me before of how you used to hold my hands, bring me downstairs for short little walks and buying food for me when i was little. Though i have no recollection of it, and though many might just wave it off as something insignificant; these stories serve as a sort of memory for me, of how you have loved me. Just something between you and me. And i want to say thankyou, for the exemplary life you have led and for how fiercely you fought your illness. Yes dear grandpa, i think you fought really well. Your courage was plain for all to see. And to me, you have won a beautiful victory.

Thank God you are free from the suffering now. Thank God that you are peaceful and happy now. I pray that when i finally get to see you once again, i will be able to earn back those lost time and lost hugs. Finally dear grandpa, something i have never told you before... I love you. (:

Truckloads of love, hugs and kisses,
Yvonne

"I thought.. I didnt know..."
"You thought, you thought.. You always thought..."

Does the above strike anything? So often we take things for granted, we take people for granted. And we regret afterwards for what we have done or have not done. This message has been emphasised umpteen times. We say, "Yes, we know." But do we really?

All i can say is that God is gracious. (:

Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

I'll sing to you Lord
a hymn of love
for your faithfulness to me
Im carried in everlasting arms
you never let me go
through it all

I was speaking to a friend few days back. Our conversation reminded me that this world is warped and it has shaped many of us into defensive people. We dare not open up ourselves, we dare not trust, we dare not be ourselves; because we have learnt, and we have grown from past experiences. In the midst of all these 'dare nots', perhaps most of us have forgotten who we truly are meant to be. We may look very strong and independent on the surface, but are we really like that deep inside? Personally, i believe everyone has their times of weaknesses, weariness and fear. God didnt create us to be perfect. Neither did He create us to be iron men/women or to be lone rangers. We CAN actually afford to make mistakes, to be less independent. Because His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9). Arent you tired of all the ladened burdens you have carried on your shoulders all this while?

Most of us are also afraid of facing our hurts. We hide these hurts in the deepest, darkest part of us. We do not dare to confront them. Because it is so sore and tender, the slightest poke stirs up groans of pain. But this wound is inflamed. It needs to be treated lest complications occur. God is our healer. Be it through divine means or through His unthinkable ways, God always has a way to heal. And believe me, He is undisputedly the best doctor in town. It is only a question of whether we are willing to accept His treatment.

No doubt we all face heartaches and disappointments as we level through different phases. I am thankful that through it all, His mighty hands will never let me go. Are you willing to sum up the courage to be who you are meant to be? Will you take His outreached hands?


And He is good. He has led me to the answer i thought i will never find out. Thankyou. (: