And so im back. After quite some time.

No doubt everyone comes to a crossroad at different points of their lives. Somehow I feel that each crossroad gets one into a deeper dilemma than the last. And if one is not careful, I suppose it is that easy to get lost in the mulitudes of paths.

I try to be positive when I write here. I try to be encouraging. After all, the choice of words can bring about a twist to anything you may mean to say. But sometimes, it's just difficult to stay positive all the time. I may be all smiles, but honestly, I think im one of the most pessimistic person ever. So forgive me. Let me rant in this post. I need some avenue to vent my frustrations.

I am lost. For now, at least. Why cant I seem to figure out what I want? Each path I take, some may indeed be my own choice. But others, they are just choices im forced to make either because of circumstances or because... I dont know. It just happened. It happened, and I know that is not the choice I want for myself, but I dont know how it happened.

Im getting more and more unhappy as I grow up, as I enter one phase into another. It's like im following the motions. I may not be ready to move, but there're no other alternatives. Something is nudging me, pushing me. I cant figure out why im so unhappy. And im getting less and less familiar with the current me. Who am I? I dont think I was like that. And im so afraid that people important to me will feel disappointed with me. Im afraid that they will start to get impatient with me.

Sometimes, running away seems enticing. Sometimes, giving up seems easier.

I kind of have an idea why things have come to this. And I may know the solution to this. But like I said earlier, let me just rant in this post.

I wish I can be up in the sky, amongst the clouds. Till when? Im not too sure when I'll like to come down either.
But even in the beautiful, peaceful skies, storms can occur.

So Weightless-- David Choi

I only know, not everyone sees
Something there beyond the breeze
A lioness stare, blond wavy hair
Beautiful, so hard not to care

Every move I make, gets closer to you
Reach your hand out
Should I grab or should I go

Im feeling so weightless
I dont know what
I dont know how
I ended up in this cloud
Im feeling so helpless
I dont know when
I dont know how
Im ever gonna get down

I got a question can I stay for a while?
Im liking it here but am I on file?
I just want to talk, but you seem so far
Fading away, just like a star

Just before you could answer
You've drifted away
Left me here alone, but right now im feeling ok

Im feeling so weightless
I dont know what
I dont know how
I ended up in this cloud
Im feeling so helpless
I dont know when
I dont know how
Im ever gonna get down

Before I know it I cant help but wonder
My friends are waiting for me but if I could just stay here
So caught up in bliss, where is my answer?

Im feeling so weightless
I dont know what
I dont know how
I ended up in this cloud
Im feeling so helpless
I dont know when
I dont know how
Im ever gonna get down

Feeling so weightless... feeling so weightless...